A little while ago I was visiting a friend’s house for the day. I rung the bell. He answered it. We said our hellos and within a step or two of walking onto his property he had smoothly slid his hand in the handles of my large, beach-ish bag and said with a smile, “Let me get that for you.”
“Why, thank you,” said I.
Why is this a Cool Male Move? It is courteous, yes. It is also friendly and thoughtful—and it clearly distinguishes the move-maker as a man and a gentleman at that. One who wants to make his lady visitor feel comfortable and at home. And guys, there is no muscle minimum needed to make this move.
A few pointers:
Smoothness is key. Unhand the lady’s bag naturally, and without tugging, like you’ve done this a million times. The best etiquette moves are those that appear as they are second nature to you.
Even if the bag contains a ton of bricks, don’t appear like it’s a hardship for you physically or that you are put out in anyway.
Do so with a friendly smile and lock eyes at the same time with a “Hello” in your heart.
This move is relationship-neutral, and can be used with charming effect on any lady from your grandmother to your buddy’s wife or to a girl whom you’d like to have spend the night in your very bedchamber, sire!
After you say good bye to a girl or woman, make sure they get on their way safely before taking off.
-Don’t just drop them off and roar off – stay around and watch them get in their car, turn on the ignition and head out.
-If you are returning a girl to her home, your relationship status should determine whether or not you accompany her to the door to say good night or good bye.
-Whether you walk her to the door or not, make sure she gets to the front door, unlocks and walks through it.
This is a very thoughtful move. It communicates to a girl, friend or otherwise, that you care about them. That you are a gentleman who was raised well, or smart enough to independently adapt such moves.
One of my guy friends in college did this regularly after dropping me off at my car on campus. He was a great guy, a nice guy whose mother had raised him very right. Side bar: I noticed that a lot of Philadelphia guys of Italian ancestry are A+ in the manners department, and they put the bar high for other guys.
There was nothing between Steven and I on the romance front, but I always held him in high regard because he was always pulling gentlemanly moves like this. Even if I didn’t know it consciously, I knew he was a good guy with positive regard for women, and me in particular.
PS. If I haven’t said it lately: Nice men, we women love you!