Guy Kawasaki is the former chief evangelist of Apple, amongst other things. In his latest book Enchantment, The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions (Portfolio/Penguin) he gives an accessible tie-together of some of the most popular persuasion techniques and how you might apply them positively to your life, business or creative endeavors. [Disclosure: Guy is co-founder of Alltop.com, an "online magazine rack of popular topics" that my endeavor, Practical Glamour, is a part of.]
The author defines enchantment as “the process of delighting people with a product, service, organization, or idea.” Its outcome: “voluntary and long-lasting support that is mutually beneficial.” If not a purveyor of such things, at the very least a working knowledge of how these techniques go to work on human psychology is crucial for not getting hoodwinked or drawn in by the smoke and mirrors of such strategies when used negatively.
So how does enchantment relate to glamour? Being glamorous, like being enchanting, is often the result of you at your most authentic and attractive. It comes from culling that thing about you, that only you have–pulling it forth, optimizing it and unfurling it in the light of day, for all to see. And the results!
The first step on the road to enchantment the practical Kawasaki points out, is likeability. He asks: “Has anyone you disliked ever enchanted you?” And to get to likability, he has a few tips to enhance the four factors that create a good impression:
-Your Smile: Kawasaki points out that is costs nothing to smile and that a non-smile “creates an opening for many interpretations, including grumpiness, aloofness, and anger–none of which helps you enchant people.”
-Your Dress: Kawasaki’s recommendation is to “park your ego” and go for “likability–not superiority.” I love that he points out the following: “Underdressing says, ‘I don’t respect you. I’ll dress any way that I please.’”
-Your Handshake: He recaps fundamentals like making eye contact, smiling, standing a moderate distance from the other person and holding the handshake for no longer than two to three seconds. Oh, and making sure your hand is “cool, dry, and smooth.”
-Your Vocabulary: This factor Kawasaki positions beautifully: ”Words are the facial expression of your mind: They communicate your attitude, personality, and perspective.”
Another reason to not overstuff your closet…
your unwanteds may end up in a landfill
A few months ago I was invited on the radio show Environmental Directions to discuss how one could be glamorous and conservation minded at the same time. In preparation for it, I learned a few things. Though I knew that a tremendous amount of shoes, clothes and accessories end up in landfills–I had no idea the amount was as grand as it is: Did you know that clothes and shoes take up more space than any other non-durable goods in the solid waste stream?
Having a zero-waste wardrobe means that you have less fog clogging up your daily dressing decisions, you don’t waste money on stuff you don’t use and you have a small, targeted wardrobe that reflects you as you wish to be. And bonus: you can reduce the amount of stuff that ends up heaping your local landfill. (If you want to see a truly unglamorous site, take a visit to a local waste facility.)
To that end, here are some ideas on how to smartly dispose of items you no longer desire, want, need or use:
- Donate still-nice clothing to a favorite local charity
- If an item is too far gone for reuse and made of an absorbent material, such as cotton, cut it up and use it for household cleaning. By the way, few clothes donated to charities find their way to a second-hand rack near you. The bulk are sold to companies who then sell them overseas or turn them into wiping and polishing cloths.
- Shoes are particularly tough to break down naturally due to the glue that is used to hold them together at points. You can donate still-wearable shoes to Soles 4 Souls, which collects and distributes them internationally. Sneakers you no longer use can be donated to Reuse-A-Shoe, a program by Nike that grinds down shoes and uses them to produce athletic surfaces.
- Hold an informal swap with friends who are like-minded when it comes to garment quality levels and size. Bring only your finest.
- Band together with some buddies and have a yard sale. Use the proceeds to further your glamour arsenal or a favorite cause.
- Finally, get ultra-disciplined and streamlined when it comes to adding new items to your wardrobe. Read Chapter 5 of Practical Glamour, which zeros in on your personal style brand and Chapter 6, which is a step-by-step roadmap to a ruthless closet overhaul.
Environmental Directions is hosted by the very glamorous and multi-talented Nancy Pearlman, who also produces the EMMY-nominated environmental television series EcoNews. Ms. Pearlman told me that when she spoke at the first Earth Day back in the 1970′s, “recycling” was a brand new word.
Night time is deep, beautiful sleep time
Energy is vitality–and vitality is the stuff that powers the projection of your personal energy. It is far easier to present your best self when you are well rested and your skin, hair, teeth, nails and figure are in their optimum state. When these are not maintained, your attention first and foremost, naturally goes to how tired you feel, or your hangnails, unruly hair, dry skin…
Presenting your most authentic and attractive self to the world on a daily basis takes a certain persistence. And it is hard to persist at anything other than seeking relief when you feel tired or unhealthy. Looking, acting and feeling your most handsome or beautiful takes sleep, and enough of it.
While I know you’ve felt the drastic difference between getting too little of it and just the right amount, here are some additional nuggets of information on sleep to help goad you to do whatever you can to phase out the time robbers in your life and get a good’s night sleep:
- Sleep deprivation magnifies the effect of alcohol, so if you are tired expect to feel a lot more blitzed than usual when intaking the same amount of alcohol.
- You will stress out faster and more intensely if you’ve not had enough sleep, and everyone knows that the gritted-teeth look is not your best.
- Studies have reported an association between insufficient sleep and high blood pressure (see the previous point).
- The amount of sleep a person gets influences the symptoms of mental disorders, so blame your tantrum on lack of sleep.
- Studies suggest that not sleeping enough has a negative effect on the immune system. For example, while rats normally live for two to three years, those deprived of REM sleep survive only about 5 weeks on average. Those rats deprived of all sleep stages live only about 3 weeks. Also, the sleep-deprived rats developed abnormally low body temperatures and sores on their tail and paws.
Positive sleep byproducts include the following:
- You’ll get an A in math, gym and remember everything. Lack of sleep leads to impaired memory, physical performance and reduced ability to carry out math calculations.
- Sleeping deeply will make you look better. Many of the body’s cells show increased production and reduced breakdown of proteins during deep sleep. Since proteins are the building blocks needed for cell growth and for repair of damage from factors like stress and ultraviolet rays.
- You’ll feel and behave better. Activity in parts of the brain that control emotions, decision-making processes, and social interactions is drastically reduced during deep sleep, suggesting that this type of sleep may help people maintain optimal emotional and social functioning while they are awake.
For most adults, 7 to 8 hours a night appears to be the best amount of sleep, although some people may need as few as 5 hours or as many as 10 hours of sleep each day. Women in the first 3 months of pregnancy often need several more hours of sleep than usual.
Note that getting too little sleep creates a “sleep debt,” which is much like being overdrawn on a credit card. Sleep is not an area where our bodies learn how to adapt; eventually, your body and mind will insist that you pay it back with some pillow time.
-Source: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, National Institutes of Health
Now, if this isn't a butch example of man-bag wearing I don't know what is
For the man, carrying a bag is tricky business. I’m not talking about standing on the sidewalk holding your lady friend’s purse while she dashes into another shop, either, I’m talking about dedicated daily man-bag wearing and accessorizing. The fear is, of course, you’ll look like a chick mincing about with a favorite and fabulous new tote!
Not to fear, male bag wearing has become so enmeshed in our culture that it is almost hard to look mincy while wearing one. The key, of course, is in your nonverbals: if you feel comfortable wearing a messenger bag, tote, satchel, briefcase bag or so forth, it follows that you’ll look entirely natural as well.
Here are some tips on selecting the professional man bag:
*Proportion is everything. Consider your physical size in relation to the prospective man bag. Choose one that is directly proportional to your overall physique. If you are a smaller man, a large man bag will make you appear even smaller. Ditto for the portly man with a princess-sized man bag.
It has to do with the contrast principle, and how the girl of your dreams appears that much more dreamy when standing in a crowd of folks who are not as easy on the eyes. Or how a miniature horse looks barely there when placed next to a strapping thoroughbred.
The Industrial Canvas Dipped York Brief by Jack Spade, which sounds like the name of a sandwich but is the name of this bag
*Your man bag should help communicate You. Man bags are no longer strictly boxy black or tan leather affairs. The dimensions, materials, finishes, fabrics and colors have busted out in a rainbow of twill, canvas, leather and even waxwear, a fine cotton canvas soaked in wax, the type originally developed for sails. In other words, man bags come in forms that insinuate you may be anything from very traditional to not.
Before going out in the world to shop for your man bag, think about what you want to look like. This will help you pre-determine the approximate shape and style you desire, and keep you from getting sidetracked by the many options out there.
*Quality counts. Like a cheesy suit that hangs clumsily off your body, a cheap man bag makes its presence known quickly and creates a bad impression. Don’t rely solely on a steep price or cache brand to cue you on whether a bag is quality: examine the leather, lining and stitching to determine its quality level.
On a practical level, a pricey-but-worth-it bag will pay dividends in terms of investment, outlasting a cheap bag by many years.
And, lastly, is very difficult to look like a serious grown-up with one of those great-outdoors-type backpacks, all mesh and straps and bright colors and Velcro, strapped to your shoulders unless you are on a mountaintop somewhere. It gives off a vibe similar to that of carrying a lunch box.
When it comes to center-stage facial traits, your lips probably play second fiddle only to your eyes. Chapped, dry and otherwise unwelcoming lips are often the result of poor habits, such as smoking, lack of hydration or proper nutrition. Another culprit is exposure to the elements, particularly during cold, windy and rainy months.
While only you know what you need to do to correct the poor-habits issue, the second one can be offset by a bit o’ lip maintenance. To that end, here are some tips:
- Always protect your lips while outside. Use a lip protectant that provides a physical block in the form of rich, natural moisturizers as well as a sunscreen element. I find the best ones at the health food store.
- Double up on moisture when inside: drink plenty of water to keep the body hydrated.
- Rub an absorbent moisturizer into the lips at night before bed. Spend a minute or two softly massaging and relaxing the skin and muscles of your lips and their surrounding areas, particularly at the corners of the mouth.
- An excellent natural lip moisturizer is Vitamin E. Split open a capsule of the stuff (buy natural E, not the synthentic type) and massage it onto freshly cleansed lips. Use the excess as an eyelash and eye-area moisturizer.
- During the day, do whatever you can in your earthly powers to keep from pursing or crinkling up your lips on any kind of an ongoing or sustained basis. If you’re not convinced of the outcome of this habit, look at the mouth of a guy or gal who has spent the last few decades sucking on a Kool.
- Gals or Others Who Wear Lipstick: remove every trace of it before going to bed.
- Regularly eradicate the dead cells that build up and cause chapping and flaking with the help of a super-soft toothbrush or washcloth. Be very gentle, and use the brush or cloth to exfoliate lips when your skin is moist, such as right after taking a shower. After you are finished, remove all traces of dead skin from the area and follow up with an application of moisturizer.
Being nice to your bosom means that you are unbending when it comes to the quality, beauty and, most of all, the fit of your brassieres. If you haven’t done so recently, get fitted by a professional at the lingerie department of a fine department store.
Look for someone who really knows what they are doing, and will do more than just jut a measuring tape around your chest and announce your size. An undergarment professional should be able to assess your breasts, and give pointers on the types of bras that will suit your situation best.
And in the name of practicality (and glamour) try on high-quality or luxury brands that you might normally bypass because of their cost.
Here’s where spending more on a bra can equal savings over time: For the cost of two mall-issue type bras I discovered I could purchase a Cosabella bra that, due to its materials, construction and stitching, far surpassed my mall-issue bra in fit and feeling. With proper care, the Cosabella, which cost around $88, will last 8-10 years of frequent use. Compare this to the average shelf life of 8 months, which is the time it usually takes for my mall-issue bras to start looking haggard.
The difference between the two types of bras is really noticeable–from the way the better bra looks to how it feels and, very important, how I feel while putting it on and sporting it. Bras are an area where you just can’t skimp. This does not mean you should break the bank on your next one–you might want to think about it, budget-wise, like this: Instead of buying two hum-ho bras; next time, save your money and buy one fantastic and long-lasting one instead. It’s really the practical thing to do.
*Find my two cents on building a comprehensive collection, including the importance of owning a good “one-off bra,” in an informative article by writer Wendy Rose Gould, found on Tyra Banks’ new website, typeF.com, here.
Though it may not feel like it in much of the land, spring is a-coming and soon after that, summer. Before the blaring summer sun comes into full view, do your skin a favor and head to your nearest dermatologist or aesthetician to see what treatments are available to remove existing sun damage.
Aesthetician Danielle Paulson recommends that you engage in deep exfoliating treatments such as microdermabrasion, wrinkle or spot laser treatments, deep peels and so forth during the months you face the least exposure to avoid further skin stress and damage.
So, if you never got around to removing the evidence of the days you spent frolicking in last summer’s sun, you still have some time to do so before it returns. Schedule any such treatments in the next few weeks if you can.
*You may also want to get a jump start on any hair removal treatments, such as laser, waxing or electrolysis. Once the weather warms up, the practitioners’ appointment books can become quickly booked. Plus, like treatments aimed at reducing the ill effects of the sun, hair removal treatments are best performed on skin that has not faced recent and extensive exposure.
*And it still goes without saying that, no matter the season, you are covering your face, neck, chest and hands with sunscreen each and every day. The sun can feel glorious but is the arch-enemy of a canvas of skin that is beautiful, firm and unspeckled.
In the 1950′s, Elizabeth Taylor was part of the new type of Hollywood actor, the female parallel of Paul Newman, James Dean and others, who in Suddenly Last Summer, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Butterfield 8, gave us a screen full of vulnerability and grit and beauty all at once. And never was she shy or coy about stating what she wanted.
Among her talents was the ability to present her figure at its most lusciously female while keeping the audience fixed on what she was saying, whether she was crossing the room fully clothed to light a cigarette or simply walking down the street. If you’re not convinced, watch her move about in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof or, better, Butterfield 8. She was cute as hell in Giant, and displayed a much softer side in A Place in the Sun, especially in her scenes with Montgomery Clift.
From Butterfield 8:
Laurence Harvey: “You’re all alike, aren’t you? Play tough.
Elizabeth Taylor: I’m not like anyone. I’m me.”
Indeed. RIP.
Here Ye, Here Ye, South Florida: This Wednesday at 7:30 pm I will be at the glamorous Books & Books in Bal Harbour discussing the science of impressions and how to optimize yours, plus signing copies of Practical Glamour.
Books & Books is located next to Neiman Marcus at the Bal Harbour Shops, 9700 Collins Ave., Bal Harbour, 305.864.4241. For more information, visit http://www.booksandbooks.com/candace-dunn
Two warm shades (left) versus two cool shades (right)
Avoid reds? Chances are you’ve never found your best shade. Here is a simple, on-the-spot technique to suss out the specific reds that compliment your hair, skin and eye colors.
• Visually examine your bare skin in natural light. Skin with bluish undertones benefits from cool (blue-based) reds, while yellow or peach undertones are flattered by warm (orange-based) reds. To test:
-If you are a gal: Apply a cool shade of red lipstick, then a warm one. (Remove color completely between applications.) See the difference? A clear red with bluish undertones is best for cool complexions; an orange-tinged red will flatter warm ones.
- If you are a guy: Place a fabric swatch under your chin in a cool shade of red, then swap it out with a fabric swatch in a warm shade. (Stand in front of the mirror to see the effects of each, and close your eyes in between swatches.) A clear red with bluish undertones is best for cool complexions; an orange-tinged red will flatter warm ones.
As you know, the benefits of knowing and surrounding yourself with your most pleasing colors are many–you make fewer shopping mistakes, plus you look and feel better.
Which brings me to SuperMoon: this Saturday if you feel like you are going a little nuts (in either the good or bad way), blame it on SuperMoon. This month’s full moon will appear to be bigger than usual. The moon is slightly closer to Earth than usual, so when it’s in full bloom, it’s closer than usual position will make it loom larger than ever. Whatever you do with your SuperMoon feeling, have a nice time…
A way to keep a bit of you positively lingering long after you’ve passed through the room in your rustling silk skirts or tails is this: Rub a perfumed or cologned lotion onto the backs of your hands, wrists and arms before leaving for your next gathering or soiree.
The fragrance will waft about you subtly with your normal movements, such as shaking hands, lifting your glass or waving. And here’s the really practical part: Those unopened bottles of scented lotion and cream that come with your perfume or cologne, usually around Christmas time, and are huddled in your cabinet –the ones that you do not typically use on your body and never on your face? Now they have a purpose in life.
Make sure the scent matches, or is an agreeable mix with, your perfume or cologne, and that it gives you the vibe and mood you desire since you’ll be the primary recipient of it all night. And keep the lotion off your palms to avoid directly transferring the scent to the nice guy who will then walk around for the rest of the night wondering why the hell he smells like Honeysuckle Rose Nights. Or doom the nice gal you’ve just met to an evening, aromatically at least, of Blue Seduction by Antonio Banderas.
If you are male and at a dinner party, be a class act and follow this traditional point of etiquette: Remain standing in the dining area until the hostess takes her seat. While standing, if the woman or girl who will be seated to your right happens to comes to the table, you are correct in pulling out her chair and helping to seat her.
Unlike the men, women do no need to wait for the hostess to sit. But both sexes wait for the hostess to take her napkin and fold it in her lap before they do.
By the way, since not all men are familiar with this point of etiquette, don’t be surprised if you are one of the few, or the only one, standing. And don’t feel self conscious in the least about doing so.
Screen glamour girl Jane Russell had a kind of direct and knowing sexiness that never came off brassy or hard; never crimped her beauty and abundant sensuality. I first saw her in Gentleman Prefer Blondes, where her warm camaraderie with fellow glitterball Marilyn Monroe made the film the ultimate glamour girl buddy movie. Do see it, if only to watch the two sing and dance “Two Little Girls from Little Rock.” She and Marilyn became close friends as a result of that movie.
Like many other true beauties, Jane Russell was attracted to the simple pleasures that love, marriage and family brought. “I was born to be married. A family life helps everything, and also my belief in Jesus,” she said. She passed away on Monday at age 89. RIP
Ten-Foot Tall Gold Servers Will Always Make For A Memorable Event
Here Ye, Here Ye, Southern California: This Saturday at 2 pm in beautiful Palos Verdes I will be giving a talk on dinner party protocol, along with some history and rationale related to its various rituals. This, along with ways to socially architect your most successful gathering ever.
I appear after Greg Simon from Pottery Barn, who will be discussing Easter Dining & Entertaining at 12:30 pm, and before Michael George who, at 2:30 pm will be informing on Fanciful Napkin Designs.
We are part of this year’s Designs for Dining, an annual benefit for the St. Francis Scholarship Program that features speakers, exhibits and displays related to entertaining & table designs. Tickets to the event are $30 at the door/ $25 in advance.
Discover more details here. Link: http://www.stfrancispv.org/designsfordining.html
The scenario: A pair of rich suede Charles David platforms in a shade of light butternut squash. A neutral cork heel. An angry charcoal smudge across the top of the vamp.
Prior to said smudge there was clearly much to love about these shoes. Their versatility made them work with almost any color or silhouette. Their height, which gave me the ability to lord over others, or at least look them in the eye (I stand somewhere around 5’2″).
On their first outing, while strolling down Ocean Boulevard with a friend after a gay evening at the Ivy, they were nudged against a raised sidewalk curb. The smudge did not budge even when faced with my full shoe-correction arsenal. I took them to the trusted neighborhood cobbler. He whipped out what looked like a rubber eraser and within a minute had wiped the smudge from the shoe. He followed the eraser with a soft shoe brush to remove the eraser crumbs and restore the nap. Poof! He also tossed the remaining nub at me across the counter to take home. I clutched it like the nugget of gold it was.
It is a suede eraser. One made by Woodlore that I like quite a bit can be had for about $8 and purchased here at Amazon.
Warning: With the power to make beige suede look bright again comes great responsibility. Use the eraser gently and tentatively the first few times. Brush the eraser across a white piece of paper first to clean it before using it on your shoes. And don’t fear the crumbling of the eraser, as those crumbs get into the nap of the suede to help buff out the stain. Also, if you value a particular pair of shoes heavily don’t take any risks you’ll regret. In this case, entrust your shoes to a professional.
Unless you sleep here, you will need to figure out how to keep your amorous activities from seeping into the eardrums of your neighbors
As space seems to become more rare, we as people are becoming more scrunched together, particularly in cities but more and more in suburbs and communities. I spoke with writer Kelly Kreth from NYC apartment site BrickUnderground on an oft-overlooked point of neighbor-to-neighbor etiquette: keeping your modesty, privacy and the psychological well-being of your neighbors intact when engaging in amorous activity. According to their survey conducted in 2010, two-thirds of those they sampled said they had heard a neighbor engaging in such activity.
Here are some of my tips to help keep your private business entre vous, particularly in today’s increasingly close quarters:
- Realize that bathrooms, with their pretty tubs and showers, can be a whole lot of fun and are typically more insulated than bedrooms.
- There is a lot of sexiness to be found in soft speaking and whispering.
- Bed check: None of us would like to live on the floor beneath the shaky, syncopated bed of a cavorting couple. Don’t be that couple. Make sure your bed frame is secure and does not budge when being trounced or bounced upon. Take the mattress off the frame if you must.
Read more, along with the input of others, in the short and informative piece, “How to be a Quiet Sexy Neighbor” at BrickUnderground here.
“The final aim of all love intrigues, be they comic or tragic, is really of more importance than all other ends in human life. What it all turns upon is nothing less than the composition of the next generation.”
–Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, 1819
On this day of celebrating love and fertility, a toast to your ancestors who, if it had not been for their long line of success in one or both of these areas, would have not been your ancestors. And to continue your success in these areas, bow to the day’s pull of love–the romantic, ethos, eros or any other of its fine varieties–with a look back through your personal Valentine’s Day catalogue to tease out your best, most authentic mates and moments: those things that moved you, made you feel the most romance, the greatest connection, the most alive.
Chances are, those February 14th gifts, words or gestures that made you feel skippy and warm in your fourth-grade homeroom have much in common with those that still do it today.
I spoke with smart generational trend-watchers DemoDirt on how economic and social factors are forcing a fashion-industry focus on mature consumers–and the models they love.
Current Fashion Celebrates Boomers and Beyond. From Oprah’s recent supermodel summit featuring Boomer beauties Cheryl Tiegs, Beverly Johnson, Christie Brinkley, and others to mod icon Veruschka’s turn on the runway at London Fashion Week, it seems as if the fashion industry is broadening its age range…Read the full article here
Weleda is a natural beauty and grooming brand that is rock-ribbed in terms of its quality and purity. I’ve used their products randomly over the years when I spot something interesting at the health food store and I’m always pleased. Their Wild Rose Skin Care line, though is a bell ringer for me. The products smell like a divine flower field and are addictive. I first came across it at a Walgreen’s and ever since I snap it up whenever my stock runs low.
The genius of the Smoothing Night Cream is that it is instantly absorbent and potent–without a shadow of feeling greasy or overly creamed. The base is made up of peach kernel, sweet almond and olive fruit oils along with evening primerose oil and myrrh. All of these are of-the-earth luxurious lubricants, and they feel it.
The Smoothing Eye Cream has organic rosehip seed oil, eyebright extract and jojoba oil. I’m not a big user of eye cream in general, but this one has a potent and clean feel–and does a nice job on puffiness, which is nice after a night of writing. Or whatever else you may be up to nocturnally.
There is also a Smoothing Day Cream and Smoothing Day Lotion. Use the lotion for normal to oily skin and the richer cream for normal to dry skin. Ah, the scent of these. They are elating. If you’re someone who is lax with the moisturizer the aroma alone will change your ways. Use on your neck, chest and decolletage as well.
Each of these products cost anywhere from $20-$30 for a 1.0 ounce tube and are worth it. They seem to last forever.
Today is the Chinese New Year, the beginning of the Year of the Rabbit. South Korea, Indonesia, Singapore, and Vietnam are also celebrating the New Year, though in Vietnam ’tis the Year of the Cat. A major holiday for many of our fellow Earthlings, what does this day mean for you? A second chance.
If you have punted some or all of that fresh resolution roster you were so earnest about on January 1, then I urge you to take advantage of this chance for a redo. This time, though, perhaps scale back some of those bigger aspirations you laid out for yourself and add some fun, not-so-Herculean spots.
In your grooming, style and manner arena for instance, instead of:
- working out 5 times a week, set out to walk/jog for 3 and throw some crunches in on the side
- implementing a totally new personal style, start collecting images (mentally or from magazines) of those styles that catch your eye and tuck them in a folder to review every once in a while, thinking about the little ways you can bring the big themes (more elegant, more grown up, more masculine, more fun, you name it) to your everyday look
- hitting the nail salon each week without fail, do go when you can and in between visits, make sure you self groom your nails nicely (read this post on shortcuts to presentable hands, or read the chapter on at-home nail care in Practical Glamour)
- upgrading your entire wardrobe, make sure you just throw out at least 10 items that you don’t really like or use–and refuse to bring home anything else that is not of boss quality
- getting a pro facial at a salon once a month, go when you can and twice a month deep-clean and condition your complexion at home (Chapter 1 of Practical Glamour has a step by step at-home facial)
- becoming fluent in another language, set out to fluently deliver 5 of the top-used phrases you’d need (“My name is…” “I am from…” “I work as a …” and so forth)
You get the idea. Happy New Year. Go forth and be glamorous.
Juno Beach, Florida - February 2011
As a raucous winter storm is a-brewing for the Midwest and Northeast, it helps to remember that when interacting in a freezing world, “Think yourself warm” can be a powerful link to keep a positive mindset and a limber body. Did you know that by simply creating imagery in your mind of your body at a comfortable temperature you can feel more fluid and relaxed in the bitter cold than when clenched against it beneath a bundle of clothes?
While the power of the mind is profound in feeling and looking one’s best, it’s a strategy best used in tandem with a smart-looking winter wardrobe. Consider the following when piecing together your most attractive storm-ready ensembles:
*Think Functionable & Flattering. Fewer things are more dreary from a glamour perspective than having your figure covered up a la mummy for months at a time. A sassy winter look is tights worn under a clingy knit dress, suede or leather skirt or even winter shorts. Select wool tights that are tightly knit, so you stay warm while maintaining the profile of your legs. Likewise, select shorts that are clearly of the dress variety and meant for cold weather. Usually these are found in heavy fabric, dark colors and lined.
Select tights and shorts (or dress or skirt) in matching or complementary dark shades. Black is always a cold-weather winner, along with grey. Silver-grey shades like pewter or gun metal are nice and upbeat in a cold-weather way, particularly when worn against winter white or cream.
*Power of Proportion. Consider your physical size in relation to winter-weather gear, and choose items that scale nicely with your overall frame. No stomping about in ski boots and a puffed-up coat if you’re uber petite, or mini-me hats and scarves if your build is on larger side.
Twiggy with a modern, circa 1960's, take on the 1920's cloche hat
*Quality counts. Invest in the good stuff. In winter months, more than ever, purchasing quality items is important. For one thing, such items last longer, making them a better investment than wear-it-for-one-season-because-it-won’t-last-for-two items. Also, quality cold-weather items tend to contain sophisticated insulation and finer-woven fabrics, making them a better defense against the elements.
*Engage winter trends selectively. Yes, platform heels and knee-high boots are the rage this season, but they won’t do much for you if you toddle about uncomfortably in them. Find–and stick with–that sweet spot between practicality, warmth and your own personal style.
*Add your charm. Speaking of personal style, don’t forget yours in the gnarly weather. Add a touch of ye to your winter wardrobe via cold-weather accouterments like hats, scarves and gloves. A pair of gloves in sleek patent leather to match your handbag, for instance. A leopard scarf and muffler set, or a vintage wool cloche hat worn beneath a tumble of curls and beautiful bright lips. What storm?
Wise words from one of the most head-turning glitterballs (still!) of our time:
“I was given a magnificent body and I have looked after it well. I never felt I could afford the luxury of letting myself go.”
“Just as you maintain your home, your car, your garden, you should look after your greatest gift: your body.”
–Raquel Welch, quoted in the U.K.’s Daily Mail.
In my quest to move my start-life-now timeline to an earlier hour of the a.m., I have been drinking a glass of water moments after my eyes flutter open in the morning. And the results are noticeable: I become clear headed and energetic more quickly waking up this way versus the no-water way.
The Mayo Clinic confirms that water carries nutrients and oxygen to the cells, moistens tissues such as those in the mouth, eyes and nose, plus helps minerals and other nutrients to make them accessible to the body, among many other fine functions. Okay, you know that water is big plus in life–but by carrying nutrients and oxygen to the cells, including those in the brain, and lifting the fog of morning it has become something even more spectacular than previously thought.
Tip: Keep a glass of water by your bed and command yourself to drink the whole thing before letting your feet touch the floor.
Dear Friends & Readers,
Wishing you all a warm and glamorous 2011. May this New Year and decade take you everywhere you desire!
And there is a hand, my trusty friend,
And give us a hand of yours,
And we will take a goodwill drink (of ale)
For times gone by!
-my favorite verse from Auld Lang Syne
‘Tis the season of the holiday tip. I spoke with the Murrysville Star about guidelines for end-of-the-year gratuity giving to your favorite facialist, delivery person, doorman, personal trainer and so forth, including the usefulness of cash, giving compliments instead of a tip (a big Don’t) and how to avoid naked money.
Read the article here.
Thursday, January 13
Pages: a book store
904 Manhattan Ave.
Manhattan Beach, CA
Who do you want to be in 2011? Architect your most attractive and authentic self for the new year and beyond. I will be at Pages bookstore discussing and signing copies of my book, “Practical Glamour,” a DIY-oriented grooming, style and manner guide called “A handy, relatable resource for women everywhere who want to look and feel their best.” 7 pm.
For most of us, the poetry has gone out of this weather. No more “Ah, it’s so nice to sleep to the sound of rain beating on the roof” or “Let’s go frolick in the snow!”
If you’re used to seeing a lot of our pal the sun–or leaving the house for that matter–you may need a lift in the form of that beautiful illusion called a tan. This week I have been traipsing around with more bounce because of my warm cocoa shade of skin, brought on by repeated applications of Tan Towels (
“Look Good Naked”).
These were recommended to me after my favorite health-food store bottle tan disappeared from Earth. Tan towels in general have some benefits over the bottle version: the application is super fast and unmessy, and the results are quick (a couple of hours) and natural-looking.
Accurate results seen here after 2-3 applications. I use the half body size for fair to medium skin tones, though they have a version for medium to dark tones. Approximately $20 for 10 towels.
There. A tan, white teeth and big hair. We’ll get through this just fine.
I spoke about the “Etiquette of Regifting” on Clear Channel’s NewsTalk 1530 KFBK last week. Some notes:
Don’t give a regift to those who are close. Reason: “It’s the thought that counts.” Literally. Special occasion gifts from intimates–boyfriend, wife, longtime friends and close family members and so forth–come with the expectation that a) you are deeply familiar with their likes, dislikes, habits, desires, and b) your gift will reflect this intimacy.
A regift says simply: “Hi. I know you really well, but don’t really care.” In this case, no gift is better than a regift.
Do regift, but only if… You can regift those who are not close, such as a coworker, neighbor or other acquaintance provided the regift meets the following two conditions:
- It must be something the receiver a) can use, and b) will enjoy. Otherwise you’re just pawning off your unwanted stuff, which is neither elegant nor jolly. No dusty bottle of Tequila to the guy who hasn’t touched a drop since the mid-80′s, framed Thomas Kinkade print to the thoughtful art collector, or chocolate truffles to the gal who’s wrestling with weight reduction.
- You must eradicate any signs of a regift. This means no Scotch tape stuck to the box along with tiny remnants of the original giver’s plaid paper. No faded graphics on the box, frayed openings or worn-away edges. Again, here no gift is better than a regift.
If your regift meets these conditions, but the receiver still suspects that something is amiss with your gift, don’t fudge or be coy. Tell them the truth, along with the reason(s) why you thought they, in particular, would like the item.
A final word on regifting: If in doubt, don’t do it.
Bondo Wyszpolski & I discuss the underused but potent power of presentation in LA’s Easy Reader, along with
- clever ways to enhance your presentation
- the idea of cultivating your “inner flame”
- the importance of training your eye to spot plum-quality garments
- and more.
“We have only one chance to make a good impression. Failing that, it can be a steep climb back, and by then the opportunity for a second try may have passed…” Read the full article here.
One of my all time favorite jobs took place in college during Christmas break when I wrapped gifts at the mall. You name it, I wrapped it. I worked with a crew of very colorful girls who, when bored, would think up creative ways to wrap gifts. I got in on the act and pretty soon we had formulated a slew of wrapping scenarios that beat the hell out of the stock candy cane or Christmas bell prints we had on hand. Or even the eggshell blue paper with tiny dreidels on it.
Here are a few favorites from this and other times to help make wrapping a more perky affair:
*Completely random boxes. For fun friends only: A diamond bracelet discovered tucked in a box of tampons made the room erupt into a giggle fest. (It was a girls-only situation.) A beautiful silk shirt folded neatly in a cardboard cornflake box. Just don’t reverse the situation; I don’t think your girlfriend will appreciate a pair of socks placed in a Tiffany’s box.
*Butcher’s paper. Use a simple watercolor set to personalize the paper (paint a poem, message, design or picture) or leave it plain and tie with a colorful cloth ribbon. Tuck a small sprig of flowers, dried or not, under the knot.
*Use oversized photographs or sheets of color copies that show a favorite shot. An actor friend with a few hundred or so extra headshots used them to wrap smaller boxes. Lucky for me, otherwise I would never have known who gave me those crazy earrings!
*Go to the coolest thrift shop in town and see if they have any rolls of ancient, unused wrapping paper that is otherwise in good condition. It’s hard to miss the gift neatly wrapped in a 70′s psychedelic swirl or Starsky & Hutch print. Wall paper works, as well.
*Hardcover book covers. Make sure they are clean and cool-looking. Use tape to secure the covers together in a single sheet. (Tape the not-visible side of the cover.)
*Sheet music. The older the better.
*Aluminum foil. This can look cool particularly in a pinch, provided the foil is smooth and unfurled and you top it off with a big luxurious bow.
*Fabric: lush but pliable velvets and brocades are excellent fabrics to wrap gifts in. Find in fabric stores. Affix with a bow in a contrasting color, such as a satin ivory bow against a midnight blue velvet fabric. Or extend the fabric and knot in a neat bow at the top of the gift. (This works best if you’re using lightweight fabric, such as a scarf, to wrap the gift.)
*Instead of tape, use drops of sealing wax to bond edges of wrapping paper together.
Technique: Whichever way you wrap, traditional or unusual, remember that the look of the finished product is all in the details. So focus, take your time and use care while wrapping so you present a gift that looks neat, sleek and completely buttoned-up.
“’We look at a person and immediately a certain impression of his character forms itself in us. A glance, a few spoken words are sufficient to tell us a story about a highly complex matter. We know that such impressions form with remarkable rapidity and with great ease.’ (Solomon Asch, 1946)
Asch’s findings highlight the essence of first impressions: they are typically composed on the fly, created from a quickie computation of your most observable attributes.”
The kind folks at Microtank, the think tank for microbusiness, asked me to contribute to their weekly column. I chose the always intriguing and overlooking topic of “people perception.” Given the timing–the holidays and new year are soon upon us–it serves as a timely recap of the ways that we mentally suss each other up.
I think you’ll like it. Read the full text here. (Link: http://www.pressreleasesonline.net/2010/12/your-essential-impression.html)
Microtank is part of Gnosis Arts, a firm that does Internet PR.
I imagine she’s trying not to burst into laughter
My aversion to wearing a thick winter coat started around the time I realized I was a girl. Many a New England winter morning you could find my mother shouting “Put Your Coat On” from the front door. Being a bit of a shrimp, it was always the mass of the deep-weather winter coat that I was opposed to. Bulky coats can manage to swallow you and make you look like a sad little Weeblo tottering in the snow.
I kept the ban going on the burly winter coat until a few years ago. I was walking through the bitterly cold streets of Chicago shivering in a ridiculously thin but favored black wool Anna Sui matador jacket. My host happened to be a commanding, bigger-than-me gal who said she was going to tackle me if I didn’t put on a proper winter coat. Which I did.
She had selected a particularly fluffy one from her collection and so I ended up wobbling through the streets of Chicago for the rest of the trip quite warm but looking–and therefore, feeling–very much like a dancing bear.
When I got home, and after a gnarly bout of the flu, I decided to grow the hell up and dress properly for the weather.
Bottom line: I have found supreme warmth and the look of a female in the form of an L.L. Bean Lambswool Peacoat like the one pictured. (Approximately $200 and worth it.)
If you want to stay warm but keep a close-to-the-body silhouette during the winter then select a coat with modern condensed insulation in it, like this one.
“Thinsulate” is a common type of insulation found in many cold-weather coats. It provides deep warmth without bulk. The idea is that its fibers are finer and trap more air in less space. This coat, for instance, will keep you comfortable to temperatures as low as -10 degrees Fahrenheit.
For the males in the audience: Thinsulate-like insulation is found in many fine men’s winter coats as well. And there are few things more nice to behold on a brisk day than a tall cup of handsomeness in a beautifully cut winter coat, strolling confidently along the street. Make sure the fit is right lest you end up looking like the chap above.
“After you’ve done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over.”
–Alfred Edward Perlman
What are those things in your life that will reach their tenth year, this year, and need to be thrown away and started “all over”? Hint: The first things that come to mind are typically the most on-target.
Luckily, those in the realm of your presentation are the easiest, most flexible and fun to change. Hair. Body. Skin. Style. Wardrobe. Manner. Since we often categorize our major life looks, or what I call our Personal Style Eras, by decades, start to think about how you want to visually remember You, Circa 2010-.
As I say often, unless someone else is selecting your clothes, then dressing and grooming you each morning, this is an area you have absolute, 100% control over. You alone get to define what you look like.
Don’t let your look happen to you. For the coming year: Assess, Reinvent, Rejuvenate.
This is a fun process that you can kickstart easily. Begin to think about how you would love to look–don’t limit yourself. Let your mind roam to its most outlandish corners. Remember these images.
*Over the next few weeks I will be posting tips on ways to go about reinventing your presentation, or how to “Architect Your Image For 2011.”
Or rather, in the Japanese weekly paper LALALA, where affiliate JPy Magazine’s “Beauty Paparazzi” asked me some cute questions about favorite accessories (sunglasses, bag, book), places in Los Angeles (Pho Show & Taka Hair Salon) and important people (Ayn Rand, Bette Davis and Mozart).
Holidays are when the cameras come out flashing more frequently than any other time of the year.
You probably know someone–or you are that person–who so loathes having their picture taken you would swear they were in the Witness Protection Program. And woe to the person who insists on taking their picture anyway, along with the annoying: “Give me a big smile!” or worse, “Say Cheese!” or the much (much) worse, “I’m not gonna take the picture ’til everyone is smiling!”
I have always claimed that there is no such thing as an unphotogenic person. There is only the person who has not figured out how to hold their face, figure, chin and body to its most advantageous when the camera is present.
It’s a skill that is not one-size-fits all, since you need to compose yourself in order to accentuate, obscure, highlight or hide your favorite and not-so-much features. Here are a couple tips to finding your best photo face:
Find Your Best Pose. There is, at minimum, one shot in your photo history that you love; as in, take out and gaze at proudly with thoughts along the line of: Damn, that is one fine-looking woman (or man)!
This photo is probably casually sitting, framed, in your living room or on your office desk. Take it, along with a few other of your personal favorites, and spread them on a table. Examine them, looking at how your face and body are positioned relative to the camera lens.
- What are the commonalities? What is the angle of your face to the camera? Straight-on or to the left or right? How much?
- Also, is your chin tilted up or down? A little, a lot?
- If your body is part of the shot, look at how it is positioned relative to the camera. Look at the position of your shoulders, legs and feet in particular.
Take away from this your favorite face and body positions. Narrow them down to the three that are your most flattering. Get insight from select trusted friends, if you like.
Find Your Best Expression. Re-examine your favorite photos, this time looking at the details of your facial expression.
- Are you smiling? How wide?
- Do you like your lips to cover both rows of teeth, or just the top row, or none at all?
- The default big grin, by the way, is not always the best look. It often has the effect of scrunching up and obscuring other features, the eyes in particular.
- Note: Keep your eyes open and fixed directly through the camera lens while the shutter clicks.
Finally, what personality do you convey with the arrangement of your facial features, and your eyes in particular?
Your favorite photographs will be the sum of the following:
Your Most Flattering Pose + Personality
Practice these–your best face/body position and facial expressions–in the mirror, over and again, until they are natural and immediate, and not posed. The next time the cameras come out, instead of shrinking away, fall into your favorite pose+personality.
Don’t be embarrassed to conduct this exercise. As photographs are, now more than ever, an unavoidable part of living life on Planet Earth, you may as well discover the way to present yourself most favorably in photographs.
And finally, no matter how many liters of champagne you’ve downed never, ever make the duckface.
*Tip. Former ambassador Chase Untermeyer offers the following from September 2010′s ForbesLife: “Let’s face it, some people look ghastly when they give an old-fashioned grin, displaying stretch lines and lopsided lips. The first President Bush pioneered a technique that works well: Just open your mouth and twinkle your eyes. For some people it looks better than their real smile.”
I learned about this great (natural!) eye de-puffer from skin expert and author Melanie Vasseur:
- Steep 2-3 chamomile tea bags in a half cup of hot water.
- Place the tea bags in the freezer for approximately 20 minutes.
- Apply the tea bags to the eye area and lie down.
The cool temperature and the herbs will reduce swelling. Also, Melanie reminds us that intaking too much sodium and alcohol will add to puffiness under the eyes. So no drinking or huge orders of salty french fries the night before an important event. (No matter how much you’re freaking out!)
Quick tip: Store your eye products (creams, etc) in the refrigerator if puffiness is an ongoing issue. When applied, the cool temperature of the products will restrict the blood vessels and reduce puffiness.
Melanie Vasseur has a skin care line called Vasseur Skincare, focused on natural and fresh ingredients, as well as a spa with a special focus area on treating acne, in the Banker’s Hill section of San Diego.
Don’t hesitate to throw away that tube of expired mascara in your makeup kit, but keep the wand as a tool to declump and refine lashes after applying mascara. Mascara wands are easier to handle than lash combs which tend to accumulate fuzz, and when used will sometimes strip too much mascara from the lashes (where it then snows on your cheeks).
- After making sure the wand is in good condition, cleanse it thoroughly with a benign cleanser such as vinegar or Dr. Bronner’s “All-One” castile soap. Let it air-dry.
- If the wand is of the straight and not curved variety, you can also use it to comb and neaten your brows.
Note that the mini-sized type of mascara wand is best as this tool, such as those offered in gift-with-purchase sets. (The bi-annual Clinique Bonus is the king of such deals.) The shorter-length wand allows for more control. Also, remember to wipe the wand after using to remove mascara, and cleanse it regularly to avoid bacteria build-up.
Much gratitude is felt today on Veterans Day for all of our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coast Guardsmen, and the endless freedoms they make possible.
Statue of Deborah Samson, Revolutionary War Soldier
An early combat veteran of note is Deborah Samson, who fought in the Revolutionary War. Disguised as a man, Ms. Samson enlisted in and fought beside the men of the Fourth Massachusetts Regiment as Robert Shurtleff.
Deborah was an avid reader who was greatly interested in politics and the War, and her very tall-for-its-day 5’8″ frame was a remarkably sturdy one due to years of hard farm work. She was skilled in combat, and was twice wounded but tended to her own wounds. Though accounts vary of how her true identity was discovered, it was and in 1783 she was discharged honorably.
After the war Deborah lectured on her military experiences. Denied a military pension due to her sex, in 1804 her friend Paul Revere intervened successfully on her behalf, requesting that Congress grant her one.
The General Court of Massachusetts verified her service and wrote that she “exhibited an extraordinary instance of female heroism by discharging the duties of a faithful gallant soldier, and at the same time preserving the virtue and chastity of her sex, unsuspected and unblemished.” (Source: National Society Daughters of the American Revolution, Massachusetts Chapter)
Veteran Deborah Samson (often misspelled as “Sampson”) is the Official Heroine of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and in the town of Sharon she is memorialized with several historical markers, such as the Deborah Samson Statue in front of the public library (seen here).
If you’ve never ridden a horse, I recommend you take one private lesson with an even-tempered trainer at a good facility. I can think of no other outdoor sport that engages those hard to reach yet desired to be fit areas of the body more than riding. An hour or so in the saddle whips the lower back, abdominals, glutes and that complex web of inner/outer thigh muscles more satisfactorily than any other sport I’ve engaged in.
Front Adductor Muscles: Horseback riding isolates this very special inner thigh muscle
Rear Adductor Muscles: Horseback riding also isolates this very special rear, inner thigh muscle
The overall result is that if you horseback ride regularly–walking, trotting, cantering and even jumping–your figure will look more shapely for it, particularly your rear wheels.
I recommend you augment riding with a cardiovascular activity like jogging or aerobics, as it will trim fat and increase your riding stamina. Riding last week after a month-long break had me nearly toppled over in the saddle after a couple laps cantering in an outdoor ring. Angel the horse, who exercises every day, on the other hand, was doing just fine.
Regular riding thins and sculpts the entire inner/outer thighs and glutes, and seems to morph the entire leg into something of a band of steel. It even adds some oomph to the arms from holding the reins and steering.
When I don’t ride at least weekly, I notice a quick change in the look of this area. Wanting to sustain it on a permanent basis I have asked two horse trainers how to get the same workout without riding. Apparently there is no other sport or exercises that engage the same areas of the body in the way that horseback riding does.
That, plus using subtle hand and leg gestures to command a 1,000-plus pound animal over a wood pile makes riding a diversion of vast physical and mental payoffs. In all, riding is a tremendous confidence, poise and derriere shaper, and I highly recommend it.
Model Dorian Leigh in an Adele Simpson suit. Year: 1950 Photographer: Gjon Mili
Adele Simpson was a notable American designer who created classic, wearable clothing for women and dressed political wives from Lady Bird Johnson, Pat Nixon, Betty Ford and Barbara Bush. I learned from Ervin Duggan, President of the Society of the Four Arts in Palm Beach and an elegant man who worked in the Johnson White House that, when he asked Ms. Simpson about clothing, she said it was important to have “a sense of theater” in your dress.
Ms. Simpson was not talking about theater in the sense of wearing sequins, glitter and a feathered head-dress. I imagine she meant theater in the sense of creating and projecting the essence of a character. Creating a public persona. Dressing a First Lady successfully meant she must be eye-catching and visually project a sense of First Lady-ness. She couldn’t, for instance, be seen exiting Air Force One with her head down wearing a rumpled beige suit.
Think about how you can add a sense of theater in your everyday dress. How can you better project the essence of You. (In my book Practical Glamour I have a chapter devoted to this, what I call finding your Personal Style Brand.)
This can mean something as small as tucking a white rose behind your ear or wearing red vintage sunglasses or your grandmother’s watch. Maybe it’s a collection of bright, plushy sneakers or swirl-print overcoats or stamped cufflinks or sharply pressed bowling shirts. It can be color (you’re always in eye-catching jewel tones like plum and russet) or grooming (you’ve sported the same mass of brilliant curls since high school).
If “All the world’s a stage,” think about what you, the player, might want to say more clearly from your corner of it.
I will be joining “Social Chats” on Monday, November 1 from 1-2 PM EST to speak with the AWC-SF (Association for Women in Communications–South Florida) about the importance of a Personal Style Brand–and how to find or refine yours. “Social Chats” is hosted by the glamorous Tonya Scholz and Dana Lawrence.
Did you know the Association for Women in Communications (AWC), formerly known as Women in Communications, is a hundred-year-old organization? It began in 1909 when one of seven female students, who had entered the college’s new journalism program at the University of Washington, came up with the idea of a women’s journalism society. The current 3,000+ members of the organization include women from all corners of the communications world.
Laura Yoder at Style 24|7 features some swell closet organization tips excerpted from my book
Practical Glamour. Since I consider a gal’s (or guy’s) closet to be their cockpit of personal glamour and style, included in it are the following strategies:
- Determine (and actively use) your Personal Style Brand.
- Perform a ruthless closet overhaul every few months “with the eye of a hawk and an attitude of a bitchy personal shopper.”
- The order of your clothes must mirror your everyday dressing decisions.
- Make sure all of your wardrobe items are visible.
- Don’t overlook basic closet maintenance.
Your Closet As Your Glamour Cockpit
Along with these are the enduring principles of closeting, those values to keep tucked in your mind as you create, arrange and maintain your cockpit–that hub for expressing your most authentic and attractive self.
- Getting rid of lesser items is necessary to make room for greater, more glamorous ones.
- Crappy clothes only create crappy ensembles. Beautiful clothes, on the other hand, create beautiful ones.
- Lousy, ill-fitting and unflattering clothes have no right to be loitering about in your closet.
Read the the entire excerpt here at Style 24|7 . Link: http://www.24-7style.com/category_s/21.htm
Each of us has our required purse stash–the set of grooming items that must come with us no matter where we go. What is in yours? Comb? Fragrance? Hand lotion? Lipgloss in Mild Mulberry? Oil-blotting sheets? Toothpick? Concealer pen in green? None of the above?
By the way, I always thought this would make a perfect “Just how well do you know so-and-so?” question.
Well, after hand lotion (the world does not seem right unless there is a small container of the stuff in my purse or somewhere in the car) I vote for the cotton swab.This is a top-tier purse essential due to its supreme beauty functionality. It is the best all-around tool for quickly and accurately undoing the oops’ that just seem to spontaneously happen to the made-up face: blending in over-the-border, brightly colored lip liner, gathering up stray eye makeup (mascara flakes, for instance), removing lipstick from a tooth, softening a too-harsh line of color around the eye, erasing a foundation crease, dabbing away sediment from the inner corner of the eye–the face saves of the cotton swab are many.
Adding cotton swabs to your purse stash is a good idea, particularly as they offer a gentler, more hygenic and accurate alternative to fixing the face than one’s hands, nails or a stray tissue grabbed from somewhere.
- Q-tips come in purse packs, but these tend to be kind of bulky, particularly if you carry an on-the-small-side purse. Alternately you can also just stick a few in a tiny resealable plastic bag and be on your merry way. (I love those packets sometimes found in hotel toiletry sets.)
- For some, the standard cotton swab tip is too bulky. If you need a different silhouette, try a pointy tip swab or a flat, paddle-tip swab.
- Studio Basics and Victoria Vogue are two solid cosmetic-accessory companies that produce these variations, along with a pointy tip/flat tip combo swab.
- Whichever type you use, select the all-cotton variety over synthetic blends.
Flat paddle-tip cotton swab
- Also, be gentle when using cotton swabs on the face. Be even more gentle than usual around the eye area.
Did you know? Q-tips were created in the 1920′s by a man, Leo Gerstenzang, who got the idea from watching his wife affix cotton balls to toothpicks. His company marketed the first Q-tips as Baby Gays.
This easy to make, grown-up punch recipe hails from the 19th century, and can be found in the famous Boston Cooking-School Cook Book by Fannie Farmer. With the exception of the bitters, the ingredients are easy to find. (Use fresh-squeezed lime juice, not the bottled variety.) The result, particularly the contrast of the sweetened citrus against the rum, is delightful.
- 4 tablespoons sugar
- 8 tablespoons lime juice
- 1 cup rum
- 1 cup water
- a pinch of nutmeg
- 5 drops of bitters
Combine all ingredients and pour over ice in a bowl or pitcher.
The Beautiful Joan Collins
“Yes, I know fashions change and everyone attempts to look up-to-date but the movie-star styles of the Twenties, Thirties, Forties and Fifties changed radically. What didn’t change, however, was their individual style; they were all one-offs.”
–Joan Collins, quoted in the U.K.’s Daily Mail, on the lack of individual style in Hollywood today.
Did you know Miss Collins made her London stage debut at age 9 in A Doll’s House and became a student at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art at age 16?
Born in 1933, this enduring glitterball–and clearly smart cookie–was a much buzzed-about beauty in her native Britain before coming to Hollywood in the 1950′s, well before her fur and diamond-studded role as Alexis Carrington in Dynasty.
Having recently had to walk barefoot across the floor of the airport security area on a particularly packed and balmy day, I consider this travel tip more vital than remembering your luggage or passport.
If you wish to avoid that horrific trod across linoleum squares where many, many others have schlepped shoeless just moments before, always have a pair of ped-type foot shields on hand when you travel by air. Neither the thick jogging type nor the skimpy nylon ones either–select a lightweight cotton-based pair.
I like those in a nude or beige color that are a low-cut design because they are more incognito and easy to slip on and off. These are easy to find at a neighborhood drugstore and cost approximately $5 for a two-pair pack.
Stash them in your purse or pocket and slip them on, one by one. Remove a shoe, slip on a ped. Remove the other shoe, slip on the other ped. I have done this so often the act is as seamless as a magician performing a stock trick.
Airport peds are a must for the woman who is often in heels, slides or flip-flops. On the rare occasion when I’ve approached the security area and realized I am ped-less, my first and automatic response is retreat. Turn and bolt the other way.
Faced with this fight or flight choice I always end up taking the flight. I take off my shoes and walk straight ahead. I try not to let my soles touch the floor. I try to block out any thoughts of what lies on the floor beneath me. I think of kittens playing with a ball of string on a sunny day and butterflies flirting in the flowers. And it always takes everything in my being not to shriek out: Ewww!
Whitening your teeth is one of the easiest things you can do to increase the attractiveness of your face. Stall for time between whitenings by using a straw to reduce the contact between high-stain beverages–such as coffee, tea and cola–and your teeth. (It’s the dark color of the coffee bean infused in the beverage that, when drunk, washes over your teeth and stains them.)
Make sure the straw is inserted a good distance beyond your teeth and into your mouth, and keep it firmly in place with your teeth. Sideline Practical Glamour note: Do not purse your lips around the straw; this encourages wrinkles. Let your lips rest over the straw instead.
Also, avoid letting staining drinks linger or swirl about your mouth and if possible, rinse your mouth with water afterwards. Good idea in particular for red wine, which is sexy indeed but upon drinking results in a near-instantaneous mulberry tinged grin.
If, in the course of your everyday life, you spot someone who is particularly eye-catching, deconstruct them for a moment to discover why. (Note: For this on-the-street study to be its most successful, you must get specific.)
Perhaps their clothes are interesting, beautifully cut or suit their figure particularly well. Or the colors of their garments, or makeup or accessories, lift and accentuate the best of their hair, skin and eye shades. Maybe it’s their smile, strut or speech that gives off such an appealing vibe. In many cases it will be a bit of all of these things.
Conversely, when you see someone who has missed the mark in a big way, try to suss out why. Much of the time it has to do with an unkempt appearance or clothes that hinder rather than help one’s personal image or silhouette. Poor posture is an instant glamour-smotherer as well.
Applying ice to your face is one of the most effective and easy things you can do to kill acne. I heard about this from an aesthetician and a friend who was a patient of Dr. James Fulton (the co-creator of Retin-A and developer of Benzoyl Peroxide) who is considered something of the grand master of acne slaying.
To Do:
- After cleansing your face in the morning and night, spread an ice cube lightly on your skin (or just the pimple-prone area) for approximately one minute.
- Make sure you move the ice quickly around your skin lest you risk ‘burning’ your skin.
- The ice takes down swelling, redness and inflammation and, for some, will shrink pores.
- Do this consistently–morning and evening–day after day.
- Let your face return to its natural temperature before resuming your normal beauty routine.
“I always wanted a dog, a son and a Harley. Instead I got two girls, a Honda and a cat.”
-Overheard in Pennsylvania
